LYRICS

Season Two

Season One

Don’t You Dare Say You Love Me

Don’t you dare say you love me
Right on cue, you lied again —
Telling him you didn’t kiss me
The blue lipstick smeared on my mouth says you did

Don’t forget – it’s you who told him
you would cut all ties with me
So don’t you dare say you miss me
Or act like you’re sad we don’t speak

If you love me as much as you claim,
Then stop stalling and take me today
If we both want this, what’s left to say?
Go in for the kill now or just go away

I can’t bear to see your smile
reflected in anyone’s eyes but my own

If you love me as much as you claim,
Then stop stalling and take me today
I thought you hated causing me pain
Go in for the kill now or just go away

Go, never forgetting
this was your choice, you could have had me
But I suspect I’d be naïve
to think that you will lose sleep over me

Always live cursed with the knowledge
you could have had me if you’d wanted
But you’re still with him, so I’d be naïve
to think that you will lose sleep over me
I doubt you’ll even see me in your dreams
I gave you every opportunity

What’s Love Without Danger?

You hated him for hurting me, but now look what you’ve done
Or did I expect too much from someone so broken?

Make no mistake – I loved your scars and hope you find healing
But why should your illness be a license to hurt me?

Bloodstained kiss
Break the skin
You were everything I never knew I wanted
Now I’m left pleading with your ghost
More than anyone, you would always love me
Swore you’d never let anyone else have me
Now it’s you who have hurt me most

The very traits I should beware are those that attract me
I cherish each lie you told to get closer to me

A phantom, a specter
You slip through my fingers
You taught me the pleasures
Of love with real danger

Bloodstained kiss
Break the skin
You were everything I never knew I wanted
Now I’m left pleading with your ghost
More than anyone, you would always love me
And if I refused, you would still pursue me
Now it’s you who have hurt me most

There is no fault in finding love with more than one person
But I could not bring myself to flirt with deception

Bloodstained kiss
Break the skin
You were everything I never knew I wanted
I’m still here, pleading with your ghost
More than anyone, you would always love me
And if I refused, you would still pursue me
Now it’s you who have hurt me most

You were everything I never knew I wanted
You did all the things I never knew I wanted
Now it’s you who have hurt me most

Another Yesterday

My heart was laid bare,
My true feelings unveiled
They affirmed what you already knew

The sting of my oath,
Her knife at my throat
It’s clear there’s no room left for you

Turns out I haven’t really changed that much after all this time

You breathed not a word
as your eyes filled with tears
Why didn’t I look away?

The glow left your face
as you looked in my eyes
and they told you what my words could not say

To think she hasn’t really changed that much after all this time

What calamitous chains
What cruel fetters of fate
Bound all three of us here
At the same time and place?
In the same heavy shadow
To be crushed by its weight
As my shallow “love” for you evaporates

As our fragile bond disintegrates

FICTITIOUS

As he peers into the firmament,
a scholar with a quill pen
traces over random points of light,
sketching constellations —
Signs to guide us through the dark
And in that mute, inhuman void
he somehow sees Orion

As we peer into the human heart 
to catalog its contents,
From the chaos strewn about within,
we construct transcendent concepts —
“Constellations of the heart”
We instill them with significance
then cast our hopes upon them

Romance and Eros, Friendship and Love
Are as real as the constellations above
When no human eyes remain to gaze up in awe,
There will be no constellations, only stars

We were never Lovers, we were more than Friends 
No title did us justice
It was not quite Romance, but no less than Love
I still can’t quantify it
No one word could capture us
So I felt our bond was far more meaningful
than if I’d simply been your boyfriend

Romance and Eros, Friendship and Love
Are as real as the constellations above
When no human minds remain to connect the dots,
There will be no constellations,
Only nameless stars, strewn about at random
So remote from our earthbound cares
Now, I fear that I’ve lived too long —
Too self-aware to truly fall in love,
Unable to suspend my disbelief

Ursa Major roams the nighttime sky,
“timeless” and “transcendent”
But the same stars, in another time and place,
were known as Seven Wise Men
In another still, they were a Funeral —
three mourners following a coffin

Romance and Eros, Friendship and Love
Are real, like the constellations above
When no human eyes remain to gaze up in awe,
There will be no constellations, only stars

ZERO TALENT

I plunge into a crowded scene, chasing the horizon
My deepest thoughts are but a drop diffusing in this ocean
Forsaken by the Muses on the day I finally realized
The masterpiece we write today will be tomorrow’s b-side

Like stars that glare at me from far away
These songs are but a vacant afterglow
Although the light is just now reaching Earth,
The stars themselves burned out so long ago

I still recall – this song could make tears well up in my eyes
But since then, I fear I’ve heard these chords far too many times
I lost my faith in music on the day I finally realized
No song can ever make me feel the way it did the first time

Like stars that glare at me from far away
These songs are but a vacant afterglow
They took so long to finally reach your ears,
My passion for them died out long ago

I want to hear music for the first time again
I need to feel music like the first time again

No Means Yes

I had misgivings
You vowed to break me

So why then, now that I’m all yours,
have you left me stricken and ignored?

You feared rejection
But now it’s you who’ve turned me down

You were the predator and I was your helpless prey
I wanted you to catch me, you let me get away

Too old for romance
You were my last chance

The spark you incited blossomed into flames
When the heat rose, you left me to perish in the blaze

You were the predator and I was your helpless prey
You finally had me cornered, how could you let me escape?

Don’t trust in Fate
Nothing is “meant to be”
And no single person is your “one true love”
So let’s seize this while we can

You were the predator and I was your helpless prey
I longed for you to catch me, how could you let me escape?

I need to know your “no” means no
Don’t leave me with a single hope
No spark that could someday, somehow
Rekindle what we now snuff out

Cremate this corpse so it won’t rise
Our love can never be revived
No wine-stained teeth or scotch-soaked sheets
Just promises we could not keep

Season One

Eternal Autumn

Verse 1

After the sun and moon have fallen from a darkened sky
And the only star still shining is the twinkle in your eye
I’ll watch the lines between the seasons blur then fade away
Orange, red, and yellow will replace the pallid grey

I’ll be caught up in a dream more real than anything I’ve known
Too enraptured by your gaze to notice streets of gold
I’ll mean it when I say, “My life is yours and yours is mine”
When I see you as you are, her name will never come to mind

Chorus

Eternal autumn
But never winter
The leaves have fallen
But never wither
Into the sunset
We’ll walk together
Forever

Verse 2

After the assembly, please beckon me aside
And lead me to a secret place that no one else can find
With cherry blossoms falling like confetti on the wind
The harbinger of springtime amidst autumn woven in

On a bed of fallen leaves we’ll consummate our love
So lost in passion, I’ll forget I’m not the only one
Cause you’ll call me by a name that no one else will know but me
And I’ll behold you in a way that no one else can see

::Repeat Chorus::

One day we’ll burn these letters…

::Repeat Chorus 2x::

Hope Deferred

Chorus A

I wish I would have died when I still had a shred of faith
Cause I’ll never recover, I’ll never move on
I just lower my standard of living each day
Growing older and colder away from the Son

Prove me wrong

Verse 1

Of late I’ve grown accustomed to this dreary ashen sky
Familiar with this sickening sensation in my gut
Indifferent to the scenery that used to catch my eye
Unphased by haunting melodies that used to stir my heart

Chorus B

So now…

I wish I would have died when I still had a shred of faith
Cause I’ll never recover, I’ll never move on
I just lower my standard of living each day
With my chances of falling in love slim to none

Prove me wrong

Verse 2

The truth – an iron maiden imploring to embrace
I feel the sting of sunburn; then I try to fathom hell
I know that I’m a sinner; please don’t rub it in my face
I always have and always will care only for myself

Please prove me wrong

Bridge

Now I’m so desperate,
I’ll share our secrets
With anyone who’ll listen
Then afterwards regret it

Muttering curses under my breath
I clench my teeth but venom spills through my gap
While maggots of bitterness, gnawing unchecked,
Gnash their maws at the ones I should love but can’t stand

Chorus C

So now…
I wish I would have died when I still had a shred of faith
Cause I’ll always look back and I’ll never be cured
You know I can’t get through to you; would you get through to me?
Don’t let me slip beyond your reach, past the point of no return

I wish I would have died when I still had a shred of faith
Cause I’m losing control and I’ll never be pure
You know I can’t hold on to you; would you hold on to me?
Don’t let me slip beyond your reach, past the point of no return

Callipolis

Verse 1

Why do I get the impression there’s no room in heaven
For Byronic Heroes and other such leaven?
Nor childhood sweethearts, nor hopeless romantics,
Nor lovers, nor dreamers, nor fantasy addicts

Chorus

Check our hearts at the pearly gates
Check our hearts at the pearly gates
I can’t shake the impression we can’t bring
such hearts through the eye of a needle

Verse 2

Our aesthetics are worthless, our muses are devils,
Our dreams are all chaff, our analogies idols,
Our passions distractions, our tragedies carnal,
Our fantasies gateways to all kinds of evil

::Repeat Chorus::

Bridge

I know you know what’s best for me
So why do I get the impression that we
Have to check our hearts at the pearly gates?

::Repeat Chorus 2x::

Yukimi

It’s true I often used to wish I were entirely alone
Waiting for the falling snow to take me in his arms
Then I could cling to none but him and open up to no one else
He’ll have gossamer, spun-silver hair and eyes like dying stars

The more complete my loneliness,
The more romantic my deliverance

My wish for loneliness has been granted
Soon I will be banished from the only place where I feel at home
The sight of youth and beauty fills me with anguish
As I leave that world behind, I realize I’ve almost outgrown hope

No peak, no point, no meaning – I don’t want it any other way
Even if the falling snow will melt with but a touch

I will surrender to his smile
A fateful meeting gilded by the setting sun

My wish for loneliness has been granted
Soon I will be banished from the only place where I feel at home
The sight of youth and beauty fills me with envy
As I leave that world behind, I realize I’ve outgrown hope

My wish for loneliness has been granted
When I’m with my closest friends, I feel like a foreigner
I’m sick from utter alienation
Now I finally realize no one’s coming to save me after all

Don’t fall in love with love itself
Patiently wait for the first snow…

GRAVITY

Verse 1

Don’t tell me to be reasonable
A break-up is the end of the world.
But this time, I don’t want to recover,
Don’t want to move on,
Never want to feel better

This time isn’t like all the rest –
It can’t be. Though I’ve gotta confess:
The others meant as much to me once
As this does to me now
And look – I still recovered

Chorus

I don’t want to fall in love again
I want this ghost to haunt me ’til the bitter end
Because if love is really irresistible,
How can I reconcile having to let this go?

Verse 2

“Stay healthy – it’s not good to be lovesick”
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”
Spare me. You domesticate love
‘Til it’s doctor approved
So it’s safe for the masses

Bring back good old-fashioned obsession
Love is an irrational passion
Fall prey to consuming addiction
Chaotic and needy
Unsafe and unhealthy

::Repeat Chorus::

Bridge

You airbrush out all traces of chaos and codependency
Cause our self-reliance, health, and happiness take priority
We can’t all be rock-stars or Romeos; some must be mundane
Oh, but I refuse to outlive ‘true love’ again – To hell with restraint

::Repeat Chorus::

Final Chorus

No, I don’t want to fall in love again
I want this ghost to haunt me ’til the bitter end
Because if love is really irresistible,
How can I reconcile being able to let go?

Intervals

Verse 1

Running laps around the track
My legs give out, my lungs collapse
I’ll run ’til night; I’ve run since dawn
The sun beats down; I can’t go on

I boast about how fast I am
But this is one race I can’t win
Because with every step I take
I become everything I hate

Verse 2

So you may ask why I’m still here
Something the coach said makes me fear:
That there’s a sniper on the roof
And if I stop he’s gonna shoot

Is this a bluff or is it true?
Who should I trust? I wish I knew
Another system of control
Conform or Santa brings you coal

Chorus

I’m falling behind
I can’t afford to waste time
This indecision
Is robbing me blind

Questions and doubt
Are bombarding my mind
But I’m too scared to search,
So afraid what I’ll find

Verse 3

My feet feel like they weigh a ton
To think the race has just begun
Or is the race all in my mind?
My thoughts too tangled to unwind

My motives leave me in the dust
A lap behind, I can’t keep up
I’m too clever for my own good
I can’t go back; I know I should

::Repeat Chorus::

Chorus B

Cause I’ve counted the cost
And I don’t have what it takes
I can’t give everything
I can’t carry this weight

It took more than I have
Just to give what I did
I can’t give anymore
It’s a burden to live

Verse 4

I never meant to disappoint;
I hate to trample on your hope
I wish I were as sure as you
About the truth, about the tone

If I’d been taught a different faith
And never questioned what was said
I’d die believing in a “myth”
Buying into a “lie” instead

::Repeat Chorus A and Chorus B::

Finale

Please forgive me!